Nothing brings me to my knees faster than when someone I love is sick. You can be by there side to keep them company, cheer them on, and love them. But you can't fix them.
James, my best buddy, ended up having unplanned surgery over the weekend. I went from being concerned to absolutely terrified as fast as the BatMobile can go 0 to 60 MPH.
Waiting at home, each hour felt like an eternity. I tried to keep myself busy selecting my photos for the recent blog post looking back on 2017. Several of the images made me smile and then my eyes began welling up with tears of joy. Each year has its difficulties, thats for sure, and yet it had been a good year. I was looking at the pictures of James and images from places he had been with me. And I just sent out all the good vibes that I could that he would come home to me.
After getting through the surgery, the next big hurdle was the first night in recovery at the emergency vet. I woke up early that morning, too early to hear from the vet. As they told me, no news is good news.
So much was going through my mind, and I wrote this in a small notebook I keep with me: "I am not ready to say goodbye. Not that I will ever be ready to say goodbye but I just keep thinking, not today, please Universe, not today. We have so many more adventures ahead of us: trails to hike; lakes, ponds, and puddles to swim; not to mention many more balls to fetch, lose, find, and fetch again. So much fun is ahead I can feel it. Life is so much better when my happy, tail wagging pup is with me."
Then, I started to think about how lonely my feet felt without James laying on the bed last night. All of his weight and warmth. And this morning, I woke up and he was not there wagging his tail and hopping up and down as he does each morning awaiting one of his favorite parts of the day—breakfast! It's just too quite without him.
Soon after I wrote this, and was rapidly becoming overwhelmed with how much I missed him, I received a phone call from the vet that James had done well in the night and that he could come home to continue his recovery!
He is home resting with me and being extra snuggly. His snuggles have never felt so good.
I'm by his side to keep him company, cheer him on, and give him tons of love. I am soaking in every minute to soothe him to sleep by reading aloud to him (we are both loving Jane Goodall: The Woman Who Redefined Man by Dale Peterson). He starts to snore. I smile a mile wide with an outpouring of gratitude.